


See My Tears

by Redhoodshood



Series: Non-Reader inserts Batfam [7]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Explicit Language, Other, cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 15:28:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17963177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redhoodshood/pseuds/Redhoodshood
Summary: Alfred invited Jason over for family dinner, he had no idea if Jason would accept because of his and Bruces constant fighting when they get together. Jason shows up to family dinner and without surprise, they fight. This time Jason isn't going to keep his feelings bottled up.





	See My Tears

The rain poured from the sky, it was dark as thunder cracked across the sky ripping the sky apart as it raged. It was as if the heavens were crying and roaring. 

Alfred scrambled around making seats for his family. He wasn’t sure who was going to show up but he always liked to include a spot for everyone. Alfred gently folded the napkins, placing the silverware delicately beside it.

The food was already prepared, not the table. 

“Goodness, if Master Jason wa-“ Alfred cleared his throat before the words could escape. The rest of his sentence was, ‘-s here he would have helped’. But Alfred caught himself. He wanted Jason to come to dinners with his family or at least with him. He missed the young man. Alfred had invited him many times but Jason was a stubborn man, just as he was when he was a child. 

Alfred called down to the cave, informing Dick, Tim, Damian, Cassandra, and Bruce of dinner. Usually, he wouldn’t even bother but today he had asked, no, Told them they had to eat upstairs at the dining table and boy did they not want to be on Alfred's bad side when he told them to do something. 

He sat out the food and pulled out each seat for the boys. They were older now as was he but he still liked doing what he used to when they were young. 

“Geez Alfred, you made enough food to feed Gotham,” Dick joked, throwing a toothy smile at Alfred. “What’s the occasion?” 

“Nothing special sir, I just thought it would be a lovely evening for some quality family time,” Alfred shrugged taking his own seat. Normally he would be off somewhere else when they ate but he was family too. 

Dick gave him a satisfied hum of agreement but Bruce stared at the one empty plate. Bruce knew there was only one person allowed to sit there, Alfred's’ rules. “Is he coming to dinner then?” Bruce asked, gently picking his fork up and beginning to cut into his stake. 

Damian looked up from his salad in confusion, no one usually came for dinner unless it was one of the females like Stephanie or Barbara. “Who’s coming?” 

Alfred cleared his throat and looked into Bruce’s eyes. “I don’t know, Master Bruce…Jason is unpredictable at times.” 

“TT.” Damian scoffed at the sound of Jason’s name. He didn’t necessarily hate Jason but he didn’t like him all that much either. 

Dick perked up at the idea of Jason coming over. He wasn’t around much because he no longer lived in Gotham and he jumped every chance he got to see the younger brother. “Jason’s coming over? What time? He’s late.” His mouth was filled with food, he was too excited to not speak with his mouthful. 

“Master Dick, manners!” Alfred scolded with a shake of his own head, it was like he taught these children nothing. 

Tim wasn’t too interested in their conversation. He and Jason got along pretty well so he didn’t mind Jason coming over at all, honestly, he enjoyed Jason’s company. 

Cass was curious, to say the least. She observed a lot around the manor. She knew that Jason coming over was rare and not always a sure thing. She knew Jason thought his family hated him but they don’t. She also knew he was a touchy subject. She enjoyed his company and would love to see him over. 

Bruce was about to reply to Alfred only to hear a loud obnoxious knock on the manor door. “I’ll get it, Alfred.” He pushed away from the table and began to get up. 

“No no! Master Bruce, it’s my job, you just sit tight,” Alfred practically yelled as he sprung up from his seat and briskly walked to the manor door. Alfred knew that Jason would be hesitant to come in if he only saw Bruce. 

“Master Jason!” Alfred said as soon as he pulled open the manor doors. To say the least, he was excited and surprised Jason had come. Alfred moved past the door and pulled Jason into a surprise bear hug. “I’m delighted you came, Master Jason.” 

“Nice to see you too, Alfred-” Jason pulled away from Alfred and handed him the small present in his hand. “-I brought you this, I haven't been here in a while but I wanted to give you this.” Jason handed Alfred the small wrapped book with a little note on it. 

“Thank you, master Jason, Dinner has already started but come join us!” Alfred said putting the gift aside for later. He took Jason’s jacket off and hung to on the rack quickly. He wanted to get Jason with his family as soon as possible. He loved when the family was together as a family. 

Jason stuffed his hands in his pockets but the small smile never left his face. He liked being in the house, it was familiar to him and so was Alfred. He never usually came because of the fights that happened between him and Bruce but he liked coming over when he could, it was usually just to see Alfred. 

Jason took his seat in the normal spot that Alfred kept open just for him. Bruce's eyes followed Jason as he sat down watching his every move. He missed his son but it killed Bruce to see him after he died because he failed his son.

A chuckle rumbled in his chest as he realized Alfred had made his favorite. “Thanks for the meal Alfred, I don’t get homemade meals much often. I usually just get fast food.” 

“Me neither,” Dick butted in nudging Jason with his elbow. “I missed you Jaybird! what have you been up to anyways? I haven't seen you in a long time.”

“Kicking ass, the usual,” Jason said with a shrug of his shoulders and taking a bite of his dinner. “And don’t call me JayBird, Dick.” He ignored the disapproving grunt from Bruce. He didn’t know why he was like this, it wasn't like Bruce didn’t do the same thing. 

“TT, Todd your imagination is quite big because the only ass getting kicked is you,” Damian said with a smirk as he took a bite of his food. Damian knew Jason was a skilled fighter but did he want Jason to know he acknowledged it? Hell no. 

Jason threw a side glance towards the young boy, sometimes he wishes he could just smack the smug out of the boy. “Shut your mouth, hellspawn,” Jason practically growled. Jason looked at cass and gave her a small wave and smile which she returned. He liked Cassandra she was the cooler one of the siblings. 

“Watch your language, Jason,” Bruce said with a raised brow. 

“Watch your son, Bruce,” Jason said gritting his teeth. Jason wanted so badly to get along with Bruce now that their relationship was somewhat mended but god did Bruce get on his nerves. It wasn't his presence that pissed him off, it was his comments. Once he said something Bruce was on his ass and no one else and he didn’t understand why it was like everything he did was a problem for Bruce. 

It hadn’t even been ten minutes since Jason had arrived and already the tension between him and Bruce was thick enough to cut with a knife. Everyone in the room felt it. 

“Jason,” Bruce growled threateningly.

“Master Bruce,” Alfred said softly begging Bruce to stop this. Jason wasn’t doing anything but messing with his brothers. Alfred wanted to have Jason over without problems. 

Jason turned his head and locked eyes with his adopted father threateningly. “Bruce, If you don’t want me here just say it,” his jaw was clenched as he talked. He wasn’t hungry anymore he just wanted to leave. 

As if on cue thunder sounded outside of the manor. 

Bruce slammed his silverware into the table making the entire table shake. Jason didn’t want to have a fight with Bruce not in front of Alfred especially. “Jason stop it!” 

“No, Bruce. You always have something to say to me when I come around. I get it you don’t like me but instead of fucking inserting your rude remarks just say it to my face.” 

Dick stood nodded to Cass, Damian, and Tim to go upstairs. Dicks older sibling instinct was kicking in because he knew this was going to lead to some sort of fight. “Guys, there's no need for this at least not right now,” he said softly trying to ease the situation. 

“Stay out of it DIck!” Jason and Bruce said in sync. Both of them stood up from their chairs ready to lunge across the table at each other. They looked like wild animals ready to rip out each other's throats. 

Alfred slammed his hands down on the table. He was beyond angry, tears were forming in his eyes. Once in his life, he wanted to have on normal dinner with his family. “Enough! For once can you two just get along for once?” 

Bruce looked down ashamed at his outburst but Jason only looked at Alfred with sad eyes. “Sorry Alfred but I’m not welcomed here. Maybe tea some other time?” Jason asked blinking back tears after the anger came sadness. “The food was good well at least the one bite I took,” Jason tried to joke. He walked over to Alfred and pulled him into a tight hug. 

He turned away and briskly walked towards the front door. He practically ripped his jacket off the coat rack and pulled his over his body. 

“Wait! Jason, come back!” Dick said as he chased him outside. He grabbed onto his brother's shoulder and turned him around to face him. Dick took a step back as he looked up at his brother, he forgot how tall Jason had grown. “You don’t have to leave Alfred is going to be upset.” 

Jason looked past DIck to see Bruce not far behind. “I’m not welcomed here, Dick. Go be with your family they love you.” Jason looked up to Dick, the first robin but even then some part of Jason hated Dick but it wasn’t his older brothers fault. 

Bruce walked down the manor stairs into the rain and right in front of Jason, pushing DIck to the side. Jason wasn’t afraid of Bruce, he’d never back down from his adopted father. 

Thunder cracked shaking the ground and lightning ripped across the sky illuminating Jason making him appear larger and more menacing. Rain cascaded down his face but he didn’t blink as he stared into Bruce's eyes. He could never read the man as good as Dick could.

“Jason I-” 

Jason cut Bruce off before he could finish. He didn’t want to hear whatever Bruce was about to say because it would either hurt Jason or piss him off and before that could happen Jason needed to get something off his chest. 

“I’m never going to be the son you wanted!” his voice cracked in pain as his eyes bore into his adopted father's ocean blue ones. His hair was drenched in water and sticking to his face as the rain pelleted across his body leaving every inch of him wet.

The rain flowed down his face mixing with salty tears. He was glad it was raining just so Bruce wouldn’t see him crying. The rain was helping with keeping his eyes from getting red. 

“I will always be the Damned Son! The robin that died! The hot-headed Brother! I fucking get it, Bruce! I will never amount to what you wanted me to!” Jason’s arms flailed around as he got his point across. 

He wasn’t the son Bruce wanted. Of course, Jason knew it because every day he dwelled over the fact that he wasn’t. He told himself that he was the man Bruce needed to be or that Gotham needed but it was just an excuse to keep his mind out of the dark place that told him he will never be anything to Bruce.

Jason swallowed the lump that was in his throat. His hand balled into fists at his side and his jaw clenched. He knew it was a bad idea to accept Alfreds invite for dinner. He told himself not to come but his heart yearned to see his family. It yearned to be in the house that once was his safe haven, the place that brought him happiness. He wanted so badly to be accepted by his family, especially Bruce, but it always seemed to go sideways. 

Jasons' head dropped down in defeat. He didn't want to give Bruce the satisfaction of seeing him so vulnerable but he was falling apart. “I’m sorry I can't be the son you wanted or the Robin. I’m not Dick Grayson! and I never will be, don't you understand that, Bruce?” 

Jason took a deep breath pulling himself to his full length. He was drenched from bottom to top, The lump in his throat was still there but he didn’t care. He needed to tell Bruce this because he’s held it in for so long. 

Dick watched from the sides as Jason poured out his heart. He never understood the depth of pain Jason felt, who could? He never wanted Jason to feel like he needed to be like him to be something to the family and to Bruce. If he had known when Jason was Robin he would have explained that he didn’t need to be him only himself. DIck couldn’t believe he missed it. 

“I care about you Bruce and that’s never been something you could see! I came back angry, not at you for my death but because I thought I meant enough for you to kill that bastard. Then I changed my act, stopped killing just for you but you can’t see that because you’ve always wanted someone to blame for your mistakes.” Thunder cracked behind him. Jason wasn’t having his father's excuses. “Tell what to which to ask forgiveness for; what I am? or what I’m not?”

Bruce was taken back by the question. He didn’t know what to say to Jason, he never had the words to say to Jason what he wanted. It always just came out wrong. Bruce wanted to be a good father, he was never good with his words when it came to his own feelings. He loved Jason. 

“I know, Jason. At first, I wanted you to be like Dick but then I realized you could never be him.” That hurt like salt in Jason's wounds. He could never be what Bruce wanted. Jason wanted to turn and run, he felt like that street kid who was trying so hard to be like Dick but knew he would never be. 

“Thanks, that really helps Bruce,” Jason said sarcastically. 

“Let me finish,” Bruce said looking at his son with soft eyes. “Back then I knew who I wanted you to be and that wasn't fair of me to push that on to you but I saw what you could be and I wanted to help you become the best person you could be,” Bruce said loudly as he spoke through the rain that was only begging to pour down harder. “I made you feel inadequate but you are more than enough Jason.” 

Jason looked at Bruce not sure if he had heard him correctly. 

“You made me laugh and cracked these jokes all the time, you rarely could take things seriously. Sometimes you were similar to Dick but you were so different at the same time, everyone could see it. I didn’t know who you would become after I realized how stubborn and brash you were but I knew you would always be my son.” 

Bruce took a shaky breath and wiped his eyes even though rain would just cover his face again. “Then you died and my entire world fell apart. I didn’t replace you with Tim he found out who I was after your death because I became reckless as Batman. I had lost you and it was the worst feeling in the world, it left this gaping hole in my chest that I couldn’t fill and I still can’t. I lost you because I wasn’t quick enough to save you and I blame myself for it every day. It's not your fault I get like this when you’re around, you just remind me of when I failed you and it hurts.” Bruce took a deep breath letting his tears flow freely. “I’m sorry I made you feel like I hated you and that you feel like I don’t care about you, Jason.” 

Jason was speechless, how could he reply to that? 

“You shouldn’t have to apologize for being you. I disagree with your methods as Red Hood but Jason Todd is a great man. It took me so long to see it but you don’t need to be fixed or to be someone else, you’re just fine as yourself.” Bruce finished with a small smile, he wasn’t sure if he said all the right things or the wrong things. It was safe to say that he couldn’t read Jason as well as he could read others. 

Bruce was taken by surprise when Jason launched himself forward with little to no warnings. He was bigger than Bruce muscle wise and only an inch shorter. Hugs were something Jason rarely gave and Bruce received so the exchange was a little awkward. 

“Thanks, Bruce,” Jason said as he began to pull away from Bruce before he could fully pull away he felt another hand wrap around him pulling him back towards Bruce. 

“Group hug!” He heard Dick yell as he wrapped his arms around Jason and Bruce. He was so touched by Jason and Bruce's speeches that he had his own tear in his eyes. He knew he would need to talk to Jason about his feelings but that would have to be done later. 

Jason let out a groan his voice muffled by Bruce's shoulder. “Way to ruin the moment Dick, you always do this.” it was true, Dick did seem to ruin the moment with his group hugs. 

“No way JayBird, group hugs made things better now let's go and finish your favorite that Alfred took hours to prepare, yeah?” 

“Yeah, okay.” All three of them walked to the manor doors where Alfred stood holding three towels so they could dry off. Alfred was not going to let them get water all throughout the manor.


End file.
